The Fear

In our currant situation due to this COVID-19 out break many thoughts have passed through my mind.

Sometimes I sit for hours just pondering what to think of it all (yes I am weird like that) After listening to many of my fellow PANS parents, likening the worlds currant situation to PANS itself, I whole heartedly agree.

We joke and laugh, we have developed a somewhat dark coping mechanism that is a twisted humour. So my first piece of advice for everyone out there is, for fuck sake,do not forget to laugh.

In the beginning when things are starting to fall apart and no one seems to know what to do, you will follow like a sheep what others think is best. As you are afraid, not only of the situation but also the consequences of your actions. However if you do as someone else bids and it goes wrong, you can just blame them right? You will soon learn that it is actually your own true thoughts that matter, what does your gut say? Once you ask it, do as it bids. If you are not sure there is no shame in speaking to a friend and discussing your thoughts, this helps to put things in perspective. You will learn to deal wholeheartedly with the consequences of your own action or non action one way or another, but I know now which one I prefer.

Education, can I please express how unimportant this is in comparison to your child’s health. Yes if they are near sitting exams and are keen to do well by all means support them. For younger kids life is so much more that how recite the 12 times table, it bears no meaning or joy in their life whatsoever. Teach them to cook even if it’s badly, show them the bugs that live under the shed. Let them sit in their jammies all day and play fifa, because I can assure you after a-few days they will be fed up and want to engage with other things.

I could go on and on but I do not want to confuse people’s thoughts, just bring a little clarity. In the end it is the fear that will get you but only if you let it. Think out side of the box, no soap? Lemon juice and salt are but two of nature’s natural anti bacterial items freely available, probably still sitting on their fully stocked, groaning shelves. No loo roll, use one of those 600 odd socks you have collected over the last 10 years but will not part with just incase their long lost partner shows up.

Most importantly be kind. Do not buy up the baby formula. I cannot even begin to fathom why anyone would do this and will not go into my thoughts on it, as there is far to much anger and swearing in what I would say. Respect others decisions on how they wish to deal with things. Knock on people’s doors who you feel may need a little help. Please do not let the fear destroy our society. If schools do close their doors, look out for the children to whom school is their only safe place.

When this is all over, remember what it was like, remember the time when the rug was pulled out from under you, and know that there are people who live this life every single day, have done for years and may continue to do so, for the rest of their time.

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